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Emotional
Understanding > Anger
Anger
If you're angry, you have to look at the reasons why you feel the anger in
an attempt to understand all the causes of
that anger.
Understand its YOU who is creating the
anger, not someone else.
Their actions may make you feel angry,
they may
make you feel an injustice... but... YOU FEEL IT...
You are
allowing yourself to feel angry....
We get angry because things don't work out the way
we want them to.
This can be seen as a control issue.
We get angry because
we are trying to concentrate and keep getting interrupted.
This is also a control issue.
We get angry for lots of reasons,
but it's always OUR reaction to what is presented to us.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of
throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
WHY you are angry.
The sad thing is that you are REALLY
angry at yourself. Not at the person you are directing the anger 'at',
it's just easier to be angry at someone else.
- You are angry at them, because
YOU can't work
- You are angry at them, because
YOU failed
- You are angry at them, because
they didn't do what YOU wanted.
- You are angry at them, because YOU didn't
get the chance, opportunity
- You are angry at them, because YOU feel
passionately towards something/a cause
- You are angry at them, because YOU feel
you are not being heard/seen.
For most cases, anger rises up when
we have a sense of losing control, or when we feel an injustice. But the
anger is coming from you like a fire or furnace.
If you feel someone else is causing your anger,
write a letter (with no intention of sending it). State exactly what you are
feeling angry about. Every detail. Then read back over each detail and ask
yourself WHY each individual detail makes you angry.
- Is it because YOU expected different?
- Is it
because YOU feel disappointed in them?
- Is it because YOU feel
an injustice?
Notice... it's about still about YOU.
- If you expected different - ask yourself WHY and
what you expected to happen...
- If you feel disappointed in someone - ask
yourself WHY you thought there would be a different outcome
- If you feel an injustice - ask yourself WHY you
want things to be different.
- You may be feeling embarrassed
- You may be feeling ashamed
- You may be feeling
guilty
There's NO getting away from it. The
ANGER is your creation. You are feeling disappointment from your
expectations, injustice from your sense of justice...
Understand why you feel these things. Write it all
down. Write down exactly why you are angry and then write down HOW you think
you may resolve the anger. (And not by revenge!!)
You don't need to feel that everyone
is out to mess up your life. You need to feel as though YOU can regain
control of YOURSELF.
- Can you resolve it by accepting the other person
did what they believed to be right?
- Can you resolve it by accepting that the
other person really didn't know any better?
- Can you resolve it by
discussion, by simply explaining to the other person why you expected
different/feel disappointed in them?
- Can you remove the embarrassment? the
shame? the guilt? By
accepting who you are?
Taking your anger out on other
people
If you are getting angry at other people for
secondary reasons, i.e because you are stressed, because you are being
interrupted, because you don't want to wait, because you feel guilty,
because you are self absorbed...then you need to re-focus your attention.
As soon as you realise that you are 'taking out'
your anger on someone innocent, you could try taking a deep breath.
Stop
what you are doing and apologise.
It doesn't matter if you are under
deadline, it doesn't matter if you've lost concentration, Apologise.
Take a
deep breath, apologise and explain to the persons WHY you are
tetchy/angry/shouting.
People will walk away and leave you be with
compassion if they understand how you are feeling. If you simply shout at
them, they will walk away thinking 'What I do? Why they grumpy? Why they
shouting?' They walk away feeling negative.
They will walk away feeling
angry at you...
Why project your anger onto someone else?
Why project your anger onto someone else?
Especially an innocent family member or work colleague... You will actually feel better by
taking time out to VOICE your anger with calm words.
By shouting 'GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE' you are not
voicing your anger. you are PROJECTING your anger and allowing other people
to pick it up and get angry too...
By taking a deep breath, downing
tools for a minute and saying 'I'm sorry for shouting, I'm really
worried about work and I cant seem to concentrate, I didn't mean to snap'
You are explaining your actions, voicing out your concerns and will be more
able to find a viable solution, and maybe even a helping hand.
Remove anger by knowing that everything will work
out for the best one way or another.
Remove Anger by accepting situations.
Shouting at someone will NOT improve
how YOU are feeling. It will NOT automatically trigger the response YOU
want from them (of course it 'may', but you can't guarantee it). And if
you do NOT get the response you wanted, shouting and getting angry AT
someone, will actually make you feel worse.
Being Angry with yourself
If you are then angry at yourself,
you can not punish yourself.
You must try to
accept and
understand who you are
and why you react in
the way that you do,
and decide to take better responsibility for yourself in the future.
Professional
Therapy
When your own anger is effecting your
emotional well-being, you may benefit from counselling and therapy.
Counselling can also assist if you are being subject to anger.
Counselling should not be seen as a last resort. Seeking counselling at
the early stages can dramatically improve your emotional wellbeing.
For more information on counselling or
psychotherapy, please click the links below.
Relaxation therapies may help
bring you into a more peaceful state of mind. Suggested therapies
include;
For further details on the therapies
listed above, just click on them!
Here at Inner Truth we have a directory
of UK Practitioners, listed by region and category. Please use the links
below to find a practitioner near you.
Holistic
Therapy for Anger
When anger affects your life, you may find the following activities worthwhile. They
can help to calm your mind.
Classes are carried out in most
locations, to find classes and centres that can teach you meditation,
pilates, tai chi and yoga, please click
here.
Alternatively you can purchase books, cds
and dvds that can help to teach you the basics. Please note that you will
get most benefit from a professional, as they will be able to correct your
mistakes and won't push you further than you can manage.
Spiritual methods for removing
aggression
Crystals
The following crystals may help to assist.
- Garnet
- Obsidian
- Rose Quartz
- Red Jasper
- Pink Carnelian
Aromatherapy
Please do not use aromatherapy oils or scents whilst
pregnant, unless being treated by a qualified practitioner.
The following scents may assist.
- Chamomile
- Cypress
- Patchouli
- Ylang
Ylang
- Vanilla
- Jasmine
- Rose
- Rosemary
Chakras
The base
chakra would be the logical place to start. The base chakra covers
anger and aggression at your very core.
The heart
chakra also covers anger, especially when it is not linked with
aggressive behaviour, but instead linked with aggressive thoughts.
Other Methods
Other spiritual methods which may aid your understanding of your own
self may include;
- Aura Reading
- Chakra Clearing
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Clairvoyance.
Please use the links below to find UK practitioners.
Further reading
Do as you feel is right,
and if it feels wrong don't do it!.
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