Expectations
Expectations have a set outcome, and
somewhere in your mind, a set time and place.
When we don't get what we 'expect' we
tend to feel disappointment,
anger,
resentment etc.
With expectations, obstacles cause some form of distress (even as mild as
annoyance).
If you can turn your expectations into aspirations, you'll find a more
relaxing approach.
Instead of expecting someone to arrive on
time, aspire they will arrive on time. This means, knowing it doesn't
matter if they are early or late.
Instead of expecting someone to do
something for you, aspire to it. Know, that if they can't it doesn't
matter to you, yet if they do you will be grateful.
Ok, so it may sound good in theory.
Dropping expectations is hard.
But if things don't go as you expect -
don't be so hard on yourself. Try to be a little more accepting.
Expectations generally involve
input from other people. Aspirations are personal.
The first step...
The first step in conquering your
expectations is to be more aware of the things which you are expecting.
Just how many things in your average day
have caused you annoyance, bitterness, resentments.
We expect the train to arrive on time (or
at least within 5 minutes of its arrival time!), we expect our co-workers
to do their jobs properly, we expect the restaurant to get our order
correct. And maybe, quite rightly so - as all of these are services which
are being paid for.
However, If things do go wrong - how do
you react? calmly or with anger?
We expect our friends and family to
behave in a certain way. Yet at times we are still disappointed when they
don't meet our expectations. We then get angry at THEM because our
expectations haven't been met..
Watch yourself, look back on your day. Be
aware of the things which you are expecting.
Trust...
We can conquer expectations by reacting
with trust.
Everything occurs as is meant.
We can adopt the 'yes that would be
great' attitude, combined with 'but if it doesn't work out it's not the
end of the world'.
Understand that there is always some
reason why your expectation has been dashed, and that reason IS NOT ABOUT
YOU!
Try not to take things so personally.
Dropping the expectations
If you can, you should try to avoid
expecting something in the first place.
This isn't always possible as most of the
time its almost a sub-conscious thing. So, when you realise your
expectations have been dashed, or realise that you DO have an expectation work through WHY you are feeling the way
you are feeling.
Why you expect/expected it.
And then look to why you are letting it affect you in
the way that it is.
If you can do this, hopefully you'll find
that sense of balance again.
Having Aspirations
There is a distinct difference
between aspirations and expectations.
Aspirations are things that you would like to achieve, and no matter the
obstacle you don't feel put down, lack of money just makes you save a
little more, lack of time makes you re-schedule the time.
Aspirations and dreams are almost
pie in the sky, but you also know that somehow, someway they can be
achieved. And if you also know, that if you can't achieve them, that
you'll still be happy.
Expectations have a set outcome, and somewhere in your mind, a set time
and place. When we don't get what we 'expect' we tend to feel
disappointment, anger, resentment etc.
With aspirations you can 'gloss over' the obstacles.
With expectations, obstacles cause some form of distress (even as mild
as annoyance).
If you can turn your expectations into aspirations, you'll find a more
relaxing approach. Instead of expecting someone to arrive on time,
aspire they will arrive on time. This means, knowing it doesn't matter
if they are early or late.
Instead of expecting someone to do something for you, aspire to it.
Know, that if they can't it doesn't matter to you, yet if they do you
will be grateful.
Dropping expectations is hard.
But if things don't go as you expect - don't be so hard on yourself. Try
to be a little more accepting.
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