Jealousy
Jealousy is a very bitter emotion if
left unattended.
It is formed from a lack of you
obtaining what you want, be that a person, a promotion, a vacation, a
new home or a feeling.
Jealousy is closely related to
bitterness, and it can be very mild or very destructive.
In it's mild forms, when we feel jealousy, we are able to let it go and
think 'Ah well, better luck next time'. It can be a fleeting feeling of
anger, rage or annoyance.
In it's stronger forms, these feelings of anger, rage and annoyance
flare up like fire bomb and have the potential for behaviour which may
not always be 'normal'. Behaviour which may include acts of violence,
aggression or underhanded/unlawful activity.
Festering jealousy
In festering cases of jealousy, it can not only cause ongoing feelings
of resentment or bitterness, we are quite often inclined to
subconsciously escalate the subsequent feelings into ardent hatred.
For example; if you are feeling jealous
that someone else has achieved the promotion that you were also trying
to obtain, you can often feel dislike towards that person. Even if you
don't know them, you find yourself starting to make judgements about
them. You may find yourself criticizing everything they do, feeling
quite sure that you would do a better job then they would. But those
criticisms are not always limited to the job in question, but quite
often they can get personal.
Our jealousy can then cause a need to get other other people to see the
flaws in the other person, to subconsciously try to prove to ourselves
that we are better than they are.
Feeling inadequate or unworthy
Jealousy also has the ability to make
us feel inadequate or unworthy.
Yet, we don't want to feel inadequate
or unworthy, so we seek other sources to try to clarify our own sense of
self worth. When we feel jealous about the choices or achievements of
other people, it has the real potential to be self destructive unless it
is properly dealt with.
The best way to release jealousy is by celebrating the
achievements of others, unconditionally. Just because you haven't
achieved something which you wanted, doesn't mean you won't achieve
something of similar or greater worth in the future.
The person whom has achieved what you want, you should try to understand
that they have wishes and dreams - just like you do.
They have worked hard, or been in the right place at the right time,
they have had the opportunity to fall in love, or to take a vacation. By
feeling jealous, you are denying them or unable to accept that they have
as many rights as you do.
We are all human, we all have feelings, we all have
emotions and we all are trying to live our lives in the best way that we
know how. You feel jealous because you want something, that something is
not within your grasp right now, it may never be in your grasp in the
exact form that you want it, but it has the potential to be.. if you
seek new opportunities that are all around us, every day.
If you want a promotion, and you didn't get it, you
have every potential to find a new employer whom values what you have to
give. You have every potential to re-train, to learn new skills required
to get you an even better job.
If you wanted a person, a lover or a friend, and they
chose to be with someone else, they had that choice, and it's now down
to you to find a new friend or lover (if you so choose), someone that
does appreciate all that you are. Do remember that we are all different
and we all seek certain qualities, that relationships, friends and
romantic relationships, usually complement each other in some way. There
is always someone else who can make you smile and feel appreciated - but
do always start but appreciating yourself.
If you wanted a vacation or something material, but
didn't have the money, or missed out on the last 'one', you have the
choice to save, to work harder, to find ways of earning enough money to
obtain what you wish to achieve.
Give yourself choices
We all have choices, and jealousy has the potential to
be a very destructive influence on our lives. Let it go, understand that
you just have a different set of choices available to you now.
Understand that others have made their choices, and their choices have
led them to where you want to be. Maybe, you could ask yourself what can
you learn from them? Maybe, you could decide to make different choices
too.
