Letting Go
Letting go can be one of the hardest things in
the world to.
- We are afraid to let go because we
are afraid of change.
- We are afraid of what may lie ahead
for us if we don't let go. It is often very hard to see life without
the problem in it.
- Sometimes we really want to let go,
but just don't know how.
- Sometimes we are even afraid to
admit that we feel negative about some things.
Letting Go may be about letting go of a feeling,
or even a person, or maybe simply about letting go of your feelings
about that person. It may be letting go of a career prospect, a family
member, a feeling, a project or even a way of life.
Losing something of value
What happens when you loose something you think
you value? The chances are you miss the feelings it gave you, not the
actual item lost.
We loose things, possessions, jobs, friends
throughout our whole life.
What happened to the first picture you drew?
Your first job?
Your first ever friend?
Change comes when we
need change. Otherwise we'd never grow as people
We go on and draw better pictures, get better
jobs, and new friends.
The thing to remember is that the things we want
out of life DO change as we grow older, but we cling to what we have
because we are afraid of change. Think of the friends you have NOW, and
if you've ever been to a school reunion or met up with your 1st ever
best friend, you'll see how different you both are now. What about your
first boyfriend or girlfriend?
The point is that we let go of things all the
time, and this time will be NO different from all the other times so
long as you go with what you truly feel.
Processes
To let go, first you must identify the reasons
you are feeling the way that you feel. Those feelings which are arising
from the 'thought' of letting go.
Are you feeling angry?
What aspects make you angry? (this may be more than one thing)
Are you feeling disappointed?
Which parts disappoint you, specify.
Are you blaming yourself?
What
things did you do and shouldn't have done, or didn't do when you
should have.
Are you afraid of something?
For
example, giving up, failure, change - be as specific as possible.
When we break everything down into bite-sized
chunks, things become easier to swallow. As individual items, you can
start to work out ways to bring the positive back into your life.
So if you are angry, work through the anger.
If you are feeling disappointment, work through why and settle each and
every aspect of it. If you feel like a failure, work through what you
can do to make better things in your life.
All those things which you want, you can achieve
elsewhere if you care to look for it.
We hold on to things because we
are mostly afraid to be without them in our lives.
We hold on to feelings because we are afraid
that being happy or cheerful or hopeful is wrong under the
circumstances.
We hold on to things that are not working out
because we forget that better things are around the corner. We have no
trust.
To let go means failure?
No. To let go of
something which isn't working for you is actually success.
It is recognition of what is wrong, and deciding
to make your life RIGHT. It is recognition of what stifles you, in
favour of new opportunities around the corner.
When we LET GO, new opportunities DO appear. But
those new opportunities RARELY appear whilst we are holding on to the
old, because we are holding on so tightly - we simply DO NOT SEE, what
else is on offer.
When you let go of something,
something always comes along to fill that space.
If you aren't looking for a new job, then you
don't go looking and are not open to the possibilities of a new job
appearing in your life.
If you aren't looking for a new creative outlet,
then one will not instantly appear - and even if it did; you wouldn't be
looking right, and thus it would probably pass you by.
You have to be open to new opportunities. You
have to know and trust completely that better things are out there for
you - just keep your eyes and ears open.
Stop looking to the past - look to your future.
Life is what you make it.
Holding on to things which are NOT working, will
not make you happy... You can't keep trying to turn water into wine...
it'll frustrate you, annoy you, consume you...
So pull back your shoulders and tell yourself
you're going to find something that is going to work, that IS going to
be of more benefit than what you currently have.
Keep Moving Forward. Don't look
back
If your decision to let go is made from the heart,
then you won't actually look back. If you are trying to let go, or
looking back it's coming from your head.
That is to say; if
you have made a decision from your heart to do something, if your heart
is true to moving forwards then, there is no need to look back. Our
heads, our minds, our thoughts kick in because of outside influence
trying to get us to look back.
IF Every decision is based on what
you feel at the time then there is no need to look back.
Except maybe
a few years down the road when you can say 'Thank Goodness for that'
If it's coming from
your head; and you feel yourself reaching back - there is a reason for
it. If it is your head, mind and thoughts saying let go, but your heart
simply can not let go, you need to remember what you truly want. This
may be unresolved issues, or a basic need being unfulfilled, but there
is always a reason why your heart struggles to let go.
Unconditional Love
Being unconditional means having no-conditions attached.
Which
means letting go, knowing you can let go and knowing you need not hold
on.
It doesn't mean you HAVE to let go, or NEED not hold on, its
simple acceptance of all is, as it is.
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