Patience is a virtue,
apparently.
Lack of patience makes
us irritable, anxious, angry and difficult to be around.
Lacking in patience
makes us short tempered, liable to sudden outbursts of frustration and in
some cases, bouts of ignorance.
In part, the process of
patience is about acceptance. However; patience is the ability not need
things to move faster than they currently are.
This could be in a queue, traffic jam, waiting for a letter, news,
information, teaching someone, helping someone or even something about
ourselves.
We often hear people
say 'Oh I don't have the patience to do that' And I always have to wonder
why they say that. The truth is, it's not about patience, it's simply they
do not WANT to do that. Lack of patience is a good excuse not to do
something.
Patience in
situations...
Late train/ queues
/traffic etc.. We've all been there, feeling a tad frustrated because we
have to wait longer than we thought, these hold ups are going to make us
late for this or that and its going to mean making a few phone calls,
re-organising the day and blah blah... c'mon does it truly matter... is it
really worth raising your heart-rate for?
If your train is late..
well stop a minute... If you think you've got problems re-organising
your day; think of the rest of the folk around you - they are all in the
same boat, and someone somewhere is having to run around and re-schedule
platforms... it's chaos.. why add to it with a frustrated attitude.
These things happen,
it's part of life. If everything ran on time, if everything occurred
without waits or delays then we'd never get a moment to ourselves.
Patience with other
people
If someone is failing
to grasp a concept which you are trying to explain. It's not actually
THEIR fault. It's in the way you are explaining it.
When we teach children,
we have more patience because we know they have little hands and expanding
minds and that we need to use small words, show them by example, nice and
slowly until they have grasped what to do.
We expect adults to
know it all and we expect people to have the same level of knowledge and
experience as we do - but they don't. That doesn't mean they are stupid or
incompetent. It simply means that haven't learnt that skill in their life
yet. Think back to the last time you had trouble learning something or had
trouble grasping a concept... eventually you have that Eureka moment, and
it all clicks into place.
So if you find yourself
loosing patience with someone. Change the way you are talking to them.
Explain to them clearly without being condescending or rude. Keep your
voice in low calm tones and if all else fails ask them. Ask them which bit
they fall over on. And break it down into smaller pieces.
Sometimes we try to
point things out to people, but they simply can't grasp it. So we need to
talk in terms they can relate to; and we need to stop looking at the big
issue and break it down into smaller issues.
For example, you can
not do complex equations if you do not understand basic mathematics. When
someone is struggling, you need to go back to the beginning and help them
to see things. Jumping in with big words and huge explanations will just
swamp them and they will loose interest/switch off or just get angry or
frustrated at you.
Losing patience with
yourself.
We loose patience with
ourselves because we get angry and frustrated that we can't do something,
that things are taking too long; or simply that what we've done isn't good
enough.
Ok. You tried your best
right? If you didn't, then know what you can try next time. If you need to
learn more, then learn more. If you are feeling under pressure; you need
to step back and give yourself 5 or 10 minutes relaxation time, take a
deep breath, re-focus and get back to the task in hand. If you still find
you are loosing patience, go off for half an hour, remove the pressure off
yourself. Know you will do it, and you will do it well.
Putting pressure on
ourselves makes us impatience. Perfectionism makes us impatient. Whose
rules? Yours. Just do your best in a calm manner and if your best isn't
good enough, try again.
A final note
As with all things concerning ourselves. Our commitment to
ourselves works alongside our recognition of those things which throw us
out of balance.
When you understand WHY you have a lack of patience, you
can start to find ways to work on it. But it is YOUR responsibility to
work on it. No one else's.
Recommended Reading
Aromatherapy
Scents for promoting patience include:- Chamomile
and lavender
