Rejection
Throughout our life we experience
many different kinds of rejection; some types hit us harder than others.
But at some point most of us have to deal with it in some form or another.
When we are rejected, be that as who
we are, or excluded because of what we can do, or that which we can't do.
We have a sense of not being good enough.
Feelings that stem from rejection
include:-
- Inadequacy
- Jealousy
- Anger
- Confusion
- Disappointment
Rejection can take many forms:-
- Loss of a job
- Failure to get the job/promotion you
applied for
- Losing (& Winning) Competitions
- Broken friendship/relationship
- Being Socially Outcast
They make us feel
- Lack of Self Worth
- Lack of Self Respect
- Lack of Satisfaction/comfort
When we experience rejection to the
point that it hits us in a way; such that we find life difficult to
deal/cope with. It is important that we seek help of some kind.
Focus on your good points
Remember all the good things that
you've done and write a list of your good points (this one is most
difficult).
When we are feeling low; it is far easier to believe that
which people tell you - that you are NOT good enough.
Moving Forwards
If you have been rejected for a job
or a promotion, do seek to ask why. It may have been that one vital skill
was left out, or that the successful applicant had more experience. It is
important not to give up; but to find out what is needed and decide
whether or not you will be able to achieve those new targets for when the
next position comes up.
Maybe part of you knew that you
needed something more, and you had just set your hopes over ambitiously.
If so, seek to gain what you need to gain.
If you have been rejected by a group
of people, be that a club, a friend or a partner. Seek to understand what
is upsetting you the most. Is it because now you feel restricted, or
abandoned.
At the end of the day, we deserve to
be around people who appreciate us for who we are. And if other people can
not see our goodness, that is their loss.
We will never achieve, if we give
up, nor if we allow ourselves to remain stuck. We have to keep moving
forwards.
Making Changes
If the rejection has made you feel
that parts of yourself need to be changed. I.e. more study, change of
attitude. Be sure that you are taking the right route and that you are
making the changes for the right reasons.
Make changes for yourself; and not
to prove points to other people.
Seek professional advice, and asking
a potential employee for an honest evaluation of what YOU need to achieve
to do better 'next' time, doesn't take much but you will need to be open
to criticism.
Recommended Reading
Therapy
If this issue is effecting your
emotional well-being or your day to day life you may benefit from counselling and therapy.
Counselling should not be seen as a last resort, it is a fantastic way to
talk through the things that are bothering you with someone impartial. Seeking counselling at
the early stages can dramatically improve your emotional confidence.
For counselling and therapists in the
United Kingdom,
please see our
directory.
