Teaching balance to children
Our children learn from us. They
learn from example.
Help to teach your children balance,
by being in balance.
They pick up our mannerisms, our
quirks and very often our issues as well. We try to protect our children
from suffering, yet we actually set them up for suffering later in life.
What they have not experienced
because you have sheltered them, will hit them harder when they experience
it as adults.
Talk to your children as you would a
friend, be honest with them but use words and terminology which they are
able to understand.
Children are usually so carefree,
because they are innocent to life's complications and struggle. However,
they are not always so - especially during adolescence.
Children struggle to relate to an
adult word, they don't fully understand how things work. They don't
understand why they can't always play THEIR games, they don't understand
why other children taunt or tease. They don't understand why their parents
argue.
Teaching responsibility for self
If your child has misbehaved, or is
upset at something. Talk to them, and ask them how they feel.
Quite often they will only be able
to use words like angry, sad, happy.. rather than getting into words like
jealousy, bitterness work with the words they give you to describe how
they feel.
If your child is angry, ask them
what they think they could do to feel less angry.
Note: Not what YOU can do to make
them feel happy, but what THEY can do to help themselves feel happier.
If your child is angry at another
child, or even you. Ask them why, and as they explain, find out exactly
which part of the 'situation' makes them most angry. Then ask them, how do
you think we can make things better.
Even a child of 5 or 6 can answer
these questions, and yes they may be on child terms, like an ice cream
could fix the world! But, go with it - as you are teaching them to think
about their feelings. You are teaching them to take responsibility and
ownership of their own feelings.
Teaching that YOU are responsible for
yourself
If you are angry or disappointed
with your child, do you shout, or punish and then feel guilty? Do you then
make up for it by smothering, or just try to forget it.
If you have ever shouted at your
child, because you've had too much on your plate. DO sit with them later
and apologise, tell them it wasn't their fault; just the situation which
caused the outburst.
What you are showing them, and
therefore teaching them. Is that we should all take responsibility for our
feelings, and be honest.
If we take the time to explain to
our child that we need some quiet time, rather than shout 'Go away!' it
teaches them to be respectful.
Because you are showing respect by explaining, and yet if you shout 'go
away' you are being disrespectful to them.
Our children reflect us. They learn
from us. Be careful what you teach them!
Feeling
Children are no different to adults
in the way that they feel pain physically from emotional issues.
We look at our children and think they are naive and innocent, but they
too have problems expressing how they feel.
Our children see us, they see how we react and they try to be like us, and
our way isn't always the best way - not truly.
They try to please people, try to
get attention, you've got to listen to what they are saying. Got to see
what they are trying to do.
Breathing
Teaching breathing techniques to your children can have a real effect
on how they start dealing with stressful situations. Whilst it is nice to
believe that our children do NOT feel anything other than shear joy in
life; we know it is not so.
Children have a lot of energy and have real difficulty in sitting still
for very long. But if we can teach them how to use the way that they
breathe to help them stay calm it can have a long and lasting effect on
their lives.
It can help when they are angry at another child or at you, it can help
when they simply are having a tantrum, it can help when they have hurt
themselves.
Do it with them, allow them to copy you and it becomes a calming
process for you both (especially if you are at the end of your tether).
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